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| User: | destroyshesaid (194247) The Angels Have the Phonebox
Whatever you do, don't blink. |
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| Name: | destroyshesaid | |||||||||
| Bio: | - Beth ![]() Hi! You've apparently stumbled upon my lovely little blog, dumping ground for all my bitching, ranting, feigned wittiness, and emo behavior. You poor unfortunate soul. My name's Cari. I'm a 22-year-old living in a small town in central Indiana, usually locked up in my bedroom writing stories or hanging out at the Denny's, smoking, drinking coffee, and discussing absolutely pointless things with my friends. (Occasionally, I can be found at the nearest Irish pub, downing Irish car bombs and singing along to "The Night Pat Murphy Died.") I'm a fuck-up, but surprisingly cheerful even so. I'm a writer; without words, I would probably shrivel into nothingness, just an empty shell like so many soulless cubicle workers all across the United States. All that would be left of me would be my empty, empty eyes, staring at you, their very emptiness pleading for you to shoot me and end it all. So...that's why I keep a pen in my pocket at all times. I'm a middle child, half-adopted, very sarcastic, too smart for my own damn good, neither ugly nor particularly attractive, and I'm actually pretty fun to be around if I like you. I suffer from severe depression--there's a reason for that little blue pillholder on my keychain, what with the antidepressants. I've hit my own personal rock bottom and, through a lot of clawing and fighting, managed to make my way back up again so I can finally breathe. I've dropped out of college, I've moved to Maryland and back again, and hell, let's be honest: I'm quite adept at making a complete mess of my life every now and then. Think not, gentle reader, that I'm whining. Because through it all, I make fun of it here. What else should I do? I'm beset by personal demons, and hell, if I can't make fun of it, there ain't no point. Laugh or you'll cry. So hopefully I can at least amuse some people while I'm sorting this whole "life" thing out. Aside from writing, I love reading and music, any kind of music at all. Amazing what music can do for you when you don't know what else to grab onto. Feel free to read, to add me. If you do, drop a comment. I like to know who's being corrupted. ;) ![]() [For legal purposes, the use of the word "Management" refers to the 22-year-old female writer who owns Happy Mystical Cari World. Headquarters are based in Indiana amidst corn fields and rednecks. Bitterness, bitchery, and sarcastic wit abound. Proceed at your own risk.] Congratulations for stumbling upon Happy Mystical Cari World! Tickets are free, but bring your own pillows. Please keep all hands and feet inside while the car is in motion. However, guests are allowed, nay, encouraged to stick their heads out the windows if they so choose, as Management feels this would be Darwinism-in-motion and therefore weed stupid out of the gene pool. Snacks of some sort will be served every hour; there is no guarantee they will actually be edible. It is desirable for all guests to take any prescribed medication they may have, while illegal drugs are discouraged. Internet access is readily available at all times, barring unforeseen events such as the entire ride ending in a spectacular flaming crash. (Should such an event occur, Management cannot be held responsible for losses, injuries, or death.) Additionally, be forewarned that Management will not sympathize with fucking your life up, marrying young, having no friends, or being so psychotic as to actually think you're sane and not in need of anything, not even an anti-depressant. Totally not our problem that you're miserable.) Clowns are not allowed. Because grown men wearing make-up and playing all day with small children is just fucking creepy. Please, clean up after your pets. Causing the entire ride to smell of cat piss upsets the other passengers, and Management will not prevent them from beating the offending Customer with whatever solid objects happen to be handy at the time. Indeed, it is, in fact, easy to hate the Management. It is the Management's opinion, however, that this is also your problem and not hers. Wanna bitch about it? Do it elsewhere. Creative or intelligent insults, however, will be posted for all to see, as the Management finds these amusing and is willing to give credit where credit is due. (At this time, unfortunately, no such insults have come to light, therefore rendering the Amazing Insult Corkboard completely empty.) It is also easy to love the Management, as can be certified by numerous close friends, relatives, and the like. So really, it is up to the individual guest to decide how he or she feels regarding the Management. If one doesn't understand the art of sarcasm, satire, or self-mocking, then one is encouraged to fuck right the hell off. (At this time, the Management will not be naming names. But you know who you are.) Self-awareness is encouraged. If the guest cannot let go of imaginary grudges, see their own hypocritical/psychotic behavior, or understand basics of economics, they are not-so-gently reminded to go to hell. Management doesn't like people who act holier-than-thou around here, nor does Management appreciate those who rip on other people's personal lives without knowing shit about what the other person has gone through. Guests are encouraged to be well-adjusted adults. This includes having a full time job, paying one's bills on time, and having a plan for the future that doesn't include being miserable all the damn time. The Management will not assist guests in any of these pursuits. [Edited because the Management decided calling guests bitchy, immature, miserable cunts was just a tad too rude.] Thank you for visiting Happy-Mystical-Cari-World. The ride will be starting momentarily. Snacks will be served in the cafe, and coffee will be free for all guests. Please, make sure your children are properly restrained and gagged. Enjoy your stay! ![]() | |||||||||
| Interests: | 149: 28 days later, adam baldwin, addiction, alan tudyk, alcohol, alice in wonderland, andrew spice, angel sanctuary, angelina jolie, anti-depressants, antisocial behavior, apathy, arctic monkeys, asian girls, baek ji young, bisexual, bisexuality, blood, body art, books, borderline personality disorder, burn gorman, butterfly boucher, cartoons, chinese food, christopher eccleston, cigarettes, cillian murphy, coffee, corsets, crying, cutting, dancing, darkness, david tennant, doctor who, dropkick murphys, firefly, fishnets, flogging molly, foreign films, forensics, geekiness, geeks, gina torres, girls, gothic lolita, greek mythology, green day, hanson, harry potter, house, hugh laurie, j-rock, j.k. rowling, jack davenport, japan, jared padalecki, jensen ackles, jewel staite, john barrowman, john stewart, joss whedon, journal writing, journaling, jpop, jrock, kasey kahne, kate rusby, kathy acker, lena katina, lesbians, lindsay mac, lolita, lust, mania, marguerite duras, marquis de sade, masochism, masochist, michael rosenbaum, michael shanks, midnight, milla jovovich, morena baccarin, movies, muse, music, myspace, mythology, nabokov, naomie harris, nathan fillion, neil gaiman, norman reedus, oz, pain, painful secrets, panic attacks, paulina rubio, pessimism, photography, piercing, poetry, quills, rachel stirling, razors, reading, renaissance, robert sean leonard, russia, ryan o'reily, sarah waters, sarcasm, sci-fi, sean maher, sean patrick flanery, self inflicted, self mutilation, self-injury, serenity, seven deadly sins, sewing, shaun of the dead, simon pegg, slash, sleep, stand-up comedy, stargate sg-1, steven colbert, submission, suicide kings, summer glau, supernatural, t.a.t.u., thalia, the boondock saints, the clash, the dubliners, the tossers, thunderstorms, tipping the velvet, torchwood, vampirism, vladimir nabokov, writing, yulia volkova, zombie movies, zombies | |||||||||
| Schools: | None listed | |||||||||
| Friends: |
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| Mutual Friends: | 4: bad_username, myfallenvanity, origamibttrfly, tragicmuse85 | |||||||||
| Member of: | 1: eroticacrit | |||||||||
| Account type: | Free Patient | |||||||||